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13 reasons

Unless you’ve been living under a rock (or binge watching all 6 seasons of LOST) you would have heard of 13 Reasons Why. 13 Reasons Why has become the most watched series on Netflix of all time. That’s a whole lot of teens and peeps watching and talking about a show. The internet has been a buzz about whether or not teens should be watching this show. The show is raw and can be VERY TRIGGERING to teenager that struggles with any of the content matter, not to mention the mature nature of the show (language, bullying, sex, rape, and graphically shown suicide).

I haven’t said anything about it yet, because my laptop was broken and I need to type to think (vs you know, thumbs) but I’ve been reading and watching and thinking about it.

So what’s my thoughts on it all?

As a parent and youth pastor my heart hurts watching the show. For so many reasons. Firstly, I want you to know, whoever you are, that if you’re going through a hard time or a dark space and feel alone, you’re not. There are people who love you and care about you and want to try to help along the way. There is hope.

The show has so many “talking points” in it, things that I think are necessary to talk about (cyberbulling, sexual assult etc) – it shows things that I think are pretty realistic, albeit ugly, about high school life and the ins and outs of been a teen in today’s world. It shows us that little things, both good and bad can matter, and that what we say can really affect someone, again good and bad. Is that reason enough to watch it though?

BUT my heart hurt also because in some ways the show is deception dressed up in cool clothes.

My heart hurts because I am sure that there are people watching who identify with what is going on and then think that her way might be a viable option. Cool even.

My heart hurts because it gave no hope. No options. No tomorrows. The romanticizing of suicide and the total absence of intervention i.e. medical attention, professional counseling, etc., is what makes the series both dark and dangerous for those who are depressed, suicidal or have considered suicide as an option at some point in their life.

My heart hurt because I think the show has the potential to mess with people’s minds, hearts, emotions. Seriously.

I think this blogger said it well – “The message of “13 Reasons Why” is not one hope, optimism or reassurance, but of tragedy, grief and the urgent need for action. I think there’s plenty to be learned from the fictional but poignant story of Hannah Baker — especially for men and anyone unacquainted with the emotional and mental damage inflicted by casual misogyny and rape culture. However, for me, as a woman who has long battled depression and suicidal ideation, the show’s well-intentioned message about mental illness, bullying and sexism was not shocking but rather reaffirming of the dangerous ideals that have often left me feeling hopeless and alone. When I finished the show, I found myself drowning once again in toxic, dangerous thoughts.”…/should-i-watch-13-reasons-why-revi…/

If you’re a parent of a teenager then it’s a difficult view but could be informative. It’s a heads up of what can go on (from a negative bias of course).

But if you’re a teenager should you watch it…? I know all your friends will probably be raving about it. Have a strong think about it, a pray about it before doing it. But if you’re struggled with depression, anxiety, bullying, suicidal thoughts or mental illness I would suggest passing on this one. Because the show can trigger things in an unhelpful way. Make sense?

If you suffer from bullying, depression, suicidal thoughts – I beg you – talk to somebody immediately (a parent, sibling, grandparent, teacher, friend, youth pastor, coach, counselor). There is a God – and He loves you. You are awesome. You are beautiful. You matter. You are not alone. You are so very loved. You cannot be replaced. And help is available in abundance.

 Lifeline: 0800 543 354 (available 24/7)
 Suicide Crisis Helpline: 0508 828 865 (0508 TAUTOKO) (available 24/7)
 Youthline: 0800 376 633
 Kidsline: 0800 543 754 (available 24/7)
 Whatsup: 0800 942 8787 (Monday – Friday, 1pm to 10pm, Saturday – Sunday, 3pm to 10pm)…/netflixs-13-reasons-why-is…/



as seen on fb… 8 things you may not know about me



1.  i am an amputee (okay, just the top digit of my little finger, but still) (i had a trike accident when i was 4) (i now have a stumpy little finger and no nail)

2.  it rained on my wedding day and we had no flowers because our florist was on the scene in a traffic jam at a fatal accident but have amazing photos with black umbrellas.  you don’t appreciate how wet it is until you see the video.   our exit song from our reception, organised by our fabulous MC’s was “Bless Her Beautiful Hide” from 7 Brides For 7 Brothers, which is one of my top 5 movies, still.

3.  i have complicated food and environmental allergies, which means i follow a pretty restricted diet, but the trade off to health is so much more worth it.  but i do miss marmite and burgers and chinese food.

4.  i have a second life at night when i don’t sleep and listen to podcasts

5.  i adore turkish delight hot chocolate

6.  i’m still obsessed with LOST and almost any tv programme that i end up liking has some connection to LOST, be it by actor or by director.  my favourite characters in LOST were ben, jacob, daniel, desmond, locke, hurley, sawyer and kate.   i confess, that yes my daughters name is partly inspired by Lost.   Lost is my happy place.

7.  my bookcase reflects my personality and passion.  i am sure books is the 6th love language, or a combination of words of affirmation and gifts (my top two) for me.  if i love someone, i give them a book and if i get given a book i feel supremely loved. 

8.  i love jesus and still get awed by His love and grace


22 Amazing Fitness, Health, and Happiness TED Talks


Shawn Achor: The Happy Secret to Better Work (seen and LOVE)

Brené Brown: The Power of Vulnerability (seen and LOVE)

Jamie Oliver: Teach Every Child About Food (just LOVE him!)



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i love evangeline’s ballet class and teacher – for their birthdays they all get a tiara and a special birthday song.  makes birthday girls feel very special and loved!




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to celebrate both evangeline’s 8th birthday and tony’s 40th we watched star wars IV with our good friends and their kids.  their kids are similar ages to ours and we often celebrate milestones together – esp big ones, like being 8.  caleb wasn’t allowed to watch star wars until he was 8 and so a few weeks ago evangeline reminded me of the “i can watch star wars when i’m 8 rule”.  so we did.  of course our children are not innocent in the ways and lore of star wars, as i was when i first watched it.  they know who is related to who and all the mystique of luke and leia and their father.  i don’t know if that spoils it or not.  but they loved it and we loved sharing the moment with our friends, and that is the main thing! 

do you have any special family movies that get rolled out as a milestone celebration? 





we are addicted to reno shows.  not the actual process of renovating though – the thought of the noise and the dust and the mess freaks me and puts me out of my comfort zone!   The Block is a family fav… so keen to start watching the 2013 season of The Block NZ which began last night…  which is good, because our other family favourite House Rules finished on Sunday…  we all get totally into it – the kids have picked favourites already (okay Evangeline likes 4 out of 4 teams and Caleb is going for the boys, and the team with a Caleb in it) and love the whole process of transformation – both in the houses and in the people.  

are you addicted to any tv shows?




and as always.  i love Jesus with all i am and all my heart and all my soul and all my days. For His glory and the building of His kingdom and the rescue of the lost.

so what are you totally loving this week?

… check out what other peeps are loving whatever day of the week it is over at MNM’s BLOG

things im loving

listening to:  bless one of my friends who has long term loaned me two of her new cds ; Kim Walker “Here is my Song” and Suzy Wills Yaraei, from Morningstar.  both are live worship albums which i love, love the feel of live music vs studio produced and the crowd adding their voice to the songs…  fantastic worship.  suzy wills yaraei has awesome musicality in her songs – awesome guitar and drums… is almost hard alternative rock, but worship!  i love love love it!  there is a great song on her album called DANCE which kim walker also sings on (they hang together and sing together) and it is awesome and me and evangeline love to dance to it…  you cant help yourself!

watching on tv: still loving heroes, we’ve just had the eclipse part 2 here…  Lost starts tomorrow night… as per previous post…  otherwise there is the smattering of Dora the Explorer and Wall-E for about the 6th time…  the kids love it..

reading:  reading a Brook and Brodie Thoene book, they are christian novelists…  is good.  intersting.  entertaining.  inspiring.  a good fill in book, you know between the Excellent Books….

reading in the bible:  am “proud” of myself (in hopefully a kosher way) as i have been consistantly reading my plan this year…  am in genesis, job, mark, romans and catching up in 1 samuel and jeremiah

achieving: today i went down to church and used their puter (as mine is bust) and made Mainly Music calendars and birthday certificates… for those not in the know Mainly Music is a preschool music/dance programme for kids and mums (and dads too) – is a real community outreach thing – we have about 25 families that come (mum and kids) and 97% of them are not church people!  we sing christian songs and random dance singing movement action type songs…  i had fun making cute calendars.  felt happy :o)  small things….

1) Do great exploits
2) Stand in the face of great obstacles
3) Stand beside people
4) Have great hope
5) Realize that the world may not change in their lifetime – but that they are a critical part of change

Heroes do great exploits.
Heroes for God do great exploits

DANIEL 11:32
Those who know their God will be strong and do exploits.

JOHN 14:12
(CEV) I tell you for certain that if you have faith in me, you will do the same things that I am doing. You will do even greater things, now that I am going back to the Father.
(GNB) I am telling you the truth: those who believe in me will do what I do—yes, they will do even greater things, because I am going to the Father.


most people when they read about the “great works” mentioned in the verses above may jump to the conclusion that these are just spiritual things. i have made a list though of things that i consider fall into categories of spiritual and “unspiritual…” i hope you get the intention.

Words of knowledge


Being a friend
Being faithful in your workplace
Being honest
Encouraging others
Living a life led by the Spirit of God
Allowing God to work in us
Being confident in hard times
Giving your time
Befriending those who “are uncool”
Standing up for righteousness
Making a stand
Being a great person

Heroes stand with confidence in times of trouble.

(BBE) I have said all these things to you so that in me you may have peace. In the world you have trouble: but take heart! I have overcome the world.
(ISV) I have told you this so that in me you may have peace. In the world you will have trouble, but be courageous-I have overcome the world!”
(MSG) I’ve told you all this so that trusting me, you will be unshakable and assured, deeply at peace. In this godless world you will continue to experience difficulties. But take heart! I’ve conquered the world.”

Hebrews 10:35 Therefore do not cast away your confidence, which has great recompense of reward.

What do we have confidence in?

Not so much a WHAT but a WHO – Jesus Christ. The Rock. The Savior. The Good Shepherd. The Lord of Lords. The Creator of the Universe. The One who died for us. The One who in all things works together for good. The One who gives us peace. The One who holds the keys to death and life. The One who sits at the right hand of God. The One who chose us and made a way for us to be righteous and have relationship with the Father. The One who gave Himself so that we would have life. The One that became sin for us, though he knew no sin, that we would be saved.

Romans 8:31-32 What then shall we say to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us? Truly He who did not spare His own Son, but delivered Him up for us all, how shall He not with Him also freely give us all things?

1Jo 5:14 And this is the confidence that we have toward Him, that if we ask anything according to His will, He hears us.

Heroes stand beside their friends – beside PEOPLE.

Hebrews 10:24 and let us consider one another to provoke to love and to good works,

Romans 14:21 It is good neither to eat flesh, nor to drink wine, nor anything by which your brother stumbles, or is offended, or is made weak.

1Thessalonians 5:14 Now we exhort you, brothers, warn those who are unruly, comfort the faint-hearted, support the weak, be patient toward all.

Isaiah 35:3 Make the weak hands strong and make the feeble knees sure.

Isaiah 58:6 Is not this the fast that I have chosen? To loose the bands of wickedness, to undo the heavy burdens, and to let the oppressed ones go free, and that you break every yoke?

Heroes have hope

Romans 15:13 And may the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, that you may abound in hope through the power of the Holy Spirit.

Romans 5:1-5 Therefore being justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ. Through Him we also have access by faith into this grace in which we stand, and we rejoice on the hope of the glory of God. And not only this, but we glory in afflictions also, knowing that afflictions work out patience, and patience works out experience, and experience works out hope. And hope does not make us ashamed, because the love of God has been poured out in our hearts through the Holy Spirit given to us.

Heroes are world changers

But they realize that the world may not change in their lifetime – but that they are part of a great picture, a great plan, but they have a critical part in change.

How do we change things?

Our responses and our reactions – to ordinary circumstances, to extraordinary circumstances, to life’s issues, to societies issues

By living according to the Word of God – allowing it to transform us – we are a light on the hill, we are different.

By standing for righteousness – society issues, personal issues

BY PRAYER – the prayer of a righteous person avails much – it is effective

BY OBEDIENCE – as God leads God does!

PS Heroes is also a very good tv programme! bring on season 3 to New Zealand!

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Worship Wednesday

1000 Things

May 2018
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