You are currently browsing the tag archive for the ‘insecurity’ tag.

bud-helisson-465328-unsplash (1)

See yourself

Have you ever looked at a photo of yourself –  perhaps round the corner in our walk through time zone – and all you see is the big zit on your forehead, or the clothes your mother dressed you in (what was she thinking!), or the naff haircut that was all the rage in 1999 (what were you thinking) – or how young you looked only to look in the mirror now and see the wrinkles that weren’t there 20 years ago…

We are our own worst critic.  We see the flaws like the have huge neon signs pointing at them… and I don’t just mean in photos or to do with our faces and fashion choices.

We compare ourselves to other people, especially in this social media age.

We devalue the gifts and talents that God has given us.

Or we are simply unaware because our self vision is blurry and it can be hard to bring ourselves into focus because we’ve been conditioned to compare for so long and there is also that kiwi culture thing of self depreciation and not being a tall poppy.

In Judges 6 we read about how an angel of the Lord appears to Gideon and calls him a mighty warrior, a mighty man of valour.  Gideon literally says who me?

Gideon is sure that God has the wrong guy, that His angelic gps is off.  He lists all the reasons why it oculdnt possibly be him.

Im from the weakest family in the weakest clan.  God, you’re wrong.

But God is never wrong and He sees the gold in who we are.  He sees the potential and He has created you on purpose with a purpose.  God has in fact written into the very fabric of who you are the gifts and talents that He can use to change the world.

2 Cor 4:7 says We are like common clay jars that carry this glorious treasure within, so that the extraordinary overflow of power will be seen as God’s, not ours.

When we see ourselves with supernatural vision, as God sees us, we can step out in confidence because we’re aware and living in that reality that the power and awesome sauce comes from God.

Having supernatural vision of ourselves means we can appraise ourselves with honest eyes – none of us are perfect, but we are loved by One who is.  We all have flaws, but we have a God who forgives and is transforming us day by day, from glory to glory.

We can accept the good, the bad and the ugly because we know how greatly loved we are by God and that we are on a journey of becoming more like Jesus.

Having a wrong view of who we are can so hold us back because we may feel that what we have to offer isn’t enough. We are like that one boys lunch.  We may evaluate ourselves as insignificant but God uses what we bring and surrender to Him.  With God it is more than enough.

We have to accept the flavour of who God has created us to be and run with that.  You are you because God created you to be who you are meant to be.  He wanted one just like you.  You will reach people that only you will reach.  You will communicate the gospel through your words and your life like only you can.  You will serve in unique ways and the world needs the gift that you are.

Confession time… I come across, I think, like a mostly confident person.  But there have been times when insecurity battled within to shut me up and shut me down.  My greatest fear growing up and into my 20s, apart from spiders, was singing in public and dancing in public.  But as many of you saw in our highlights video last week and can look around the corner I ended up in a lead role playing an 8 year old brat, singing and dancing on stage, in the Ultimate Gift.  I had auditioned not to acutally be in the production but to make friends as I had only recently joined the church.  There were many times that I said to peter I cant sing that note and he would tell me yes you can and you will.  There were many times I was shaking on the inside but had to step out and do it anyway.

Even with preaching and leading I often battle the insecurity that I am not enough.  When I was 19 I did a personality test with a group of other youth leaders at my church and they all came out as Cholerics – powerful leaders – or Melencholics – deep thinkers.  And then there was me. Sanguine.  Funny popular.  Light and fluffy.  Again when I was in my late 20s I did a preaching course and everyone in the course were deep and spiritual, or theological and wise sounding and then there was me.    On the outside it looked like I had it together but on the inside I was questioning if what I brought to the table was enough.  God in his graciousness continues to encourage me that my voice is His voice and that everyone needs superhero pop culture references and gun noises from time to time.

Your life is telling a story. There are people who need your brave, courageous steps forward in faith, beyond pain, disappointment, or challenge, coming through with a smile on your face, joy in your heart, and purpose in your step. There are people who need your story of hope, redemption, healing, forgiveness, victory and courage! Your story – your life – it matters.

Advertisements

tumblr_inline_mseih6fscm1qz4rgp

If we knew the people that God had worked through in the past we would be encouraged about His ability to work through us.

Think about it…

Mary was an unwed mother.  Oh the shame.

Matthew was a tax collector who ripped off his own countrymen to line his own pockets.

David slept with someones wife, got her pregnant and the murdered her husband.

Jonah ran away from God.

Elijah was depressed and suicidal.

Jacob was a liar and a cheat.

Peter the disciple and first leader of the early church was flaky.

Paul, who wrote at least ½ of the New Testament, orchestrated the genocide of Christians in the early church.

Lazarus was dead!

In fact God doesn’t often pick the most intelligent, qualified person in the room. God often chooses the least qualified so it’s evident they’re not doing things out of their own strength but out of His.

Insecurity robs not only us of the reward of serving, the reward of making a difference, but it robs those we are called to minister to and connect with.

We’ve got to stop comparing our behind-the-scenes with everyone else’s highlight reel.  Comparison involves constantly worrying about what people think about you and it is a really fast way to forgetting what God thinks of you.

We have got to deal insecurity and its BFF comparison a death blow.

The way to do this is to counter the lies they tell with the truth of God.

I am a son of God.  I am a daughter of God.

I am called and chosen and equipped and empowered.

The Holy Spirit lives in me, the Holy Spirit who raised Jesus from the dead lives in me.

God gives me wisdom.

It’s not by my might, nor by my power but by the Holy Spirit.

Every time that negative thought creeps in, every time it tells you that you don’t matter, or that you’re not important, or that you cant do that like they can, or you’re not good enough, counter it with the Word of God just as Jesus did in the desert when the enemy questioned his identity and purpose.

“It is written” and “the Bible says” are 3 of the most powerful words you can ever say and they will change your life.

About 12 years ago I did a preaching course run here at church by our previous pastor.  Everyone else in the group was deep and meaningful and spiritual.  And then there was me.  Comparison tried to make me conform to how everyone else did it.  But gun noises and Lost references kept on popping out of me and I had to embrace who I was, give comparison and insecurity a punch in the face and be myself.

It’s the same situation Gideon faced himself in.  The angel of the Lord appeared and said “Mighty Man of Valour” and Gideon said who me?  Insecurity answered instead of faith.  Thankfully Gideon allowed God to transform his identity and self image so that he could play his part in the deliverance of Israel from the MIdanites.  We know Gideons highlight reel, we can read it in the Bible, but once upon a time he stood at the beginning of his story with the challenge to play his part.

Goodness, stepping out can be a scary thing.  Being real and giving something of yourself can be vulnerable.    But if we stopped every time we felt fear or insecurity then we’d be living very dull lives.

David in Psalm 53:6 says When I am afraid, I will put my trust and faith in You.

He’s saying when I’m insecure, I will put my faith and trust in You who is greater, in You who have called me.

He’s saying when I look down on myself, I will put my faith and trust in You God.

When I compare myself to others, I will trust you God.

I will do it afraid.

There is a powerful scene at the end of Cinderella – the 2015 live action movie – where Cinderella looks at herself in a mirror as she goes to meet her prince charming… not dressed in the ball gown but in the rags of a servant.   The narrator asks this question.

Would who she was really be enough? There was no magic to help her this time. This is perhaps the greatest risk any of us will ever take—to be seen as we truly are //  Cinderella 2015

That is the big question.  Will you take the risk?  God loves who you are, He likes who you are and I think we do too.  Kick insecurity and comparison to the curb.

images (4)

Evangeline, my daughter, came home from school one day and nuzzled into my side and said in a small voice… this was the worst day ever…

I held her close for a moment and then asked, honey, what happened.

They made fun of my name Mum, they called me Evil Eva…

Oh.

Words can crush can’t they?

They hurt.

I got her to look up at me, into my eyes.

Remember sweetheart, when you were one day old, when God said YOU ARE DELIGHTFUL…?

Yes, I remember

That is who you are Evangeline.  You are not evil.   You are delightful.   Your name means giver of life, messenger of good news.

I know Mum.  They kept on saying it. It was hard but I kept on ignoring them.

Whose voice do you need to listen to sweetheart?

God’s voice and your voice Mum.

Such truth from my youngest. A fearless young one, learning courage and wisdom in the classroom of life.

Often we have an internal dialogue which is ripping us off and defeating us… we have an inner voice – our soul, our mind, that can depreciate our assets, rationalize a situation or just plain speaks with unbelief in our own abilities and more importantly the God we serve and that empowers us.

Lies.

Excuses.

This voice can be like the voices of my daughters classmates, telling us we are worthless when the truth is that we are very precious and God delights in us and loves us so much that He gave His only son to ransom, rescue and save us.

What shapes this voice we listen to?

  • our past
  • our parents
  • our peer groups
  • the media
  • the enemy

Our voice can often tell us that we won’t ever be able to do anything to help or be very god at anything – but God calls us his partners and calls all of us to work with Him and promises to work through us.

Attitude is a little thing that makes a big difference.  ~Winston Churchill

My voices says:

  • who do you think you are?
  • no one will listen to you
  • no one wants to listen to you
  • you’re just a …
  • nothing is going to change – why bother?
  • you’re a proven failure
  • you’re not good enough
  • you’ll never be good enough

The voices in my head tell me everything that I don’t like about myself, the remind me of my flaws and failings.  They however are silent when it comes to reminding me what God says about me and His promises and unfailing faithfulness.

“Regardless of what you want to do or who you are, fear will always see you as wholly unqualified for anything you ever dream or attempt.” Jon Acuff

Fear is going to tell you you cant. It’s going to lie to you and make excuses so you stop in your tracks.

Fear and insecurity partner with the enemy to limit us and restrict us. To kill the dream.

But God is great.   He is good.

He wants us to rip that negative self talk out of our heads, to change the cd so to speak and to hear HIS voice of hope and faith and truth.

God qualifies us for anything we dream and attempt.

What does the Bible say?

Let the weak say “I am strong”

Greater is God in me that the enemy in the world

Those that know their God will be strong and do exploits

I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me

This is why God tells us to renew our mind, to be transformed and to fix our eyes (and ears!) upon Himself. To listen to His voice. We need to listen to the truth that God speaks. We need to listen to HIS voice in our head and hearts and let the voices in the playground fall away into silence.

There is an enemy who wants us to think we are defenceless, useless, hopeless weaklings. If he can shut us down he shuts us up.

Can we see beyond what people say about our limitations to the fact that we serve a God who doesn’t even have that word in His vocabulary? To the God whose capability doesn’t rise and fall with our own inability? Can we see beyond what people say about our dreams and plans to the God who has actually given them to us and is fully competent to bring them to pass? Steven Furtick

Become master of your own voice – take every wrong thought captive. Don’t just think and believe every thought you have. Not every thought we have is correct. This is why I think it is important to read the Bible – to learn what God says about us.

Then we can reprogram our heart and override any untruth (from the enemy or ourselves) with the truth of God.

Remember, we are loved with an everlasting love. We are children of God. Servants of God. Strong. Mighty. We carry the living God within us – a great powerful treasure in jars of mere clay. God calls us and anoints us and uses us. He works in us and through us. Despite our flaws and failings He is great and great in and through us for His glory. He chooses the weak and the foolish, the ordinary, to demonstrate His extraordinariness.

“Don’t underestimate what God can do through your life. God has a very long, proven, and consistent history of using foolish and broken things for His glory.” ~ Eugene Cho

He is our great healer, our great strength, the one who saves us.

“The best way to get rid of the negative thoughts is to crowd them out with something else bigger and more beautiful: worship of the One who holds everything in His powerful and capable hands.” ― Jocelyn Green

So how do we change the voices in our head?

Read the Word of God and transform the way you think (Romans 12:2)

Take control of the thoughts – when the lies and doubt come, change your mind, change the topic. Stop passively agreeing with the negative voices.

Replace the negative thought with a positive one. Change the tone of your thoughts.

Don’t play the victim, take control and make some changes if changes need to be made.

Find someone to encourage you, share your fear and ask for intentional help.

Analyze what you’re thinking. Is this really true?

Line a new truth up against the lie.

Give yourself grace. Remind you that God’s grace is sufficient.

“I’ve tucked those negative thoughts in a drawer, and for the most part, though I know the drawer still exists, it never gets opened.” ― K. Martin Beckner

What else do you do to stop the voices in your head dragging you down?

Who are you listening to?

water

“How heavy is this glass of water?”

“The absolute weight doesn’t matter. It depends on how long I hold it. If I hold it for a minute, it’s not a problem. If I hold it for an hour, I’ll have an ache in my arm. If I hold it for a day, my arm will feel numb and paralyzed. In each case, the weight of the glass doesn’t change, but the longer I hold it, the heavier it becomes.”

“The stresses and worries in life are like that glass of water.  Insecurity.  Shame.  Fear.   Think about them for a while and nothing happens. Think about them a bit longer and they begin to hurt. And if you think about them all day long, you will feel paralyzed – incapable of doing anything.”

One of the reasons that we’re tackling this topic is so that break down the walls that divide us and put barriers up – that prevent us from having deeper, amazing relationships.

We need to put the glass down.

You are not meant to carry your shame.  You are not meant to live in fear.  You are not meant to live in insecurity.

Insecurity isn’t a sin, it’s a place for God to fill.

Read the rest of this entry »

I read this great, aka challenging, post the other day (10 Things Pastors Absolutely HATE to Admit Publicly) and began applying it to my own life in the circles of influence i have.

For myself i have added number #11 to the list

#11 : I worry that i’m not ____________ enough and can’t provide the help you need (fill in the blank: good, qualified, smart, compassionate, wise, cool, relevant)

#11 is my biggest worry, fear, whatever.

There is even a phobic name for it.

atelphobia

#11 is the one i need to punch in the face, shut it up and nullify any limitation it could place on me.  i will not live within its boundaries or restrictions.

It looks back at me in the mirror and whispers nasty things, chattering away with untruths, half truths.

You see the reality is that sometimes I’m not blank enough.

But WITH GOD nothing is impossible.  WITH GOD I can do all things.

I am just a jar of clay to show that the all surpassing power is of God (2 Corinthians 4:7)

The fears forget those promises of God and that He makes me blank enough.

The most effective way to deal with those trash talking voices is to replace them with a truth.  The Truth.  Remove the lie and speak the truth.

We have to refuse to live with atelphobia and to live in the freedom of God’s acceptance and power.

Rewrite the script you live by and know that God graces and empowers you to serve Him.

How do we rewrite the script?

1.  know what God says about you – find specific personal verses in the Bible that God makes personal to you – highlight them, write them down, meditate upon them

2.  stop the fear in its tracks… change the way you think but stopping the thoughts before they become a negative downward spiral

3.  talk to someone about how you feel.  let them give you a new encouraging script and perspective

4.  step out and help someone – use the gifts and talents God has given you and watch Him work His wonder THROUGH you.  a few positive experiences under your belt is evidence you are blank enough

5.  make a list of all the ways you are enough – your talents, your values, your attributes

In myself I am nothing, but with God I am everything.

He qualifies and equips the called.

My job is to say YES to the things He is calling me to do and He will enable me to be a best fit in that moment, for that role.

In Him I am blank enough.

Do you ever struggle with feeling not blank enough? Or is this just me?

killing giants

 

The battle of David and Goliath, though played out with a shepherd boy and a warrior is a great picture of the battle of fear vs doubt – with most of the victory happening NOT on the battlefield, but behind the scenes in the lead up to their face off.  It  is one of the greatest examples of how faith overcomes – how faith overcomes the giants in our lives – not just only of the physical great big stinking men type but how to overcome giants on the inside and giants of circumstance and difficulty.

Lets look at how the scenario began for David:

1 Sam 17:13 – 20 Jesse’s three oldest sons had followed Saul to the war: The firstborn was Eliab; the second, Abinadab; and the third, Shammah. David was the youngest. The three oldest followed Saul, but David went back and forth from Saul to tend his father’s sheep at Bethlehem. For forty days the Philistine came forward every morning and evening and took his stand. Now Jesse said to his son David, Take this ephah of roasted grain and these ten loaves of bread for your brothers and hurry to their camp. Take along these ten cheeses to the commander of their unit. See how your brothers are and bring back some assurance from them. They are with Saul and all the men of Israel in the Valley of Elah, fighting against the Philistines. Early in the morning David left the flock with a shepherd, loaded up and set out, as Jesse had directed. He reached the camp as the army was going out to its battle positions, shouting the war cry.

1 Sam 17:28-29 When Eliab, David’s oldest brother, heard him speaking with the men, he burned with anger at him and asked, Why have you come down here? And with whom did you leave those few sheep in the desert? I know how conceited you are and how wicked your heart is; you came down only to watch the battle. Now what have I done? said David. Can’t I even speak?

In this series in the next few days we’ll explore ways that we can tackle the giants in our life with faith in the One who ultimately was like David on our behalf.

We all have seasons where the giants seem more real and more fierce.

Where the voice calling to us from across the valley seems to shout personal insults and mock our every breath.

It is in those moments that we need faith.  We  need to know, like David, who we are and more importantly, who our God is.

What will win the fight in  your life?

What giants do you face?

1152a70b2fdcb0f1204efc46597a243a

BodyImage_cs4_nicole12-04

ever flick through a magazine and wish you had hair like… lorde (oh i love her curls), eyes like lea michele, a body like anyone in hollywood?!?

even though we know media has such an agenda when it comes to image, we’re buying.  even unintentionally.  we allow these thousands of images to determine and define what we, the collective “we”, say is beautiful.

and its unrealistic.

and for most of us unreachable.

even if we worked out 3 hours a day and ate lettuce dipped in protein juice.

 

 

have you seen the Dove True Beauty Evolution clip… where it takes a “normal” woman and turns her into a supermodel for a billboard ad?

yeah.

Read the rest of this entry »

e4648441472407d7b457ee208c9ae83a

 

 

“There is nothing more rare, nor more beautiful, than a woman being unapologetically herself; comfortable in her perfect imperfection. To me, that is the true essence of beauty.”
Steve Maraboli,

 

“Beauty shouldn’t be about changing yourself to achieve an ideal or be more socially acceptable. Real beauty, the interesting, truly pleasing kind, is about honoring the beauty within you and without you. It’s about knowing that someone else’s definition of pretty has no hold over you.”
Golda Poretsky

 

“You are imperfect, permanently and inevitably flawed. And you are beautiful.”
Amy Bloom

 

“As a society, we need to get lots more flexible about what constitutes beauty. It isn’t a particular hair colour or a particular body type; it’s the woman who grew the hair and lives in the body. Keeping this in mind can only make things better. (341)”
Victoria Moran,

Body Image Statistics

The Body Shop once famously ran an advertising campaign which said that there were only seven people in the world that actually looked like supermodels.

Approximately 91% of women are unhappy with their bodies and resort to dieting to achieve their ideal body shape. Unfortunately, only 5% of women naturally possess the body type often portrayed by Americans in the media.  58% of college-aged girls feel pressured to be a certain weight.

20 years ago the average model weighed 8% less than the normal woman. Today the average model weighs 23% less than the normal woman!

In a survey of girls 9 and 10 years old, 40% have tried to lose weight, according to an ongoing study funded by the National Heart, Lung and Blood Institute.

Over half of the females age 18-25 studied would prefer to be run over by a truck than to be fat, and two-thirds would choose to be mean or stupid rather than fat. Gaesser, Glenn A., PhD. Big Fat Lies: The truth about your weight and your health. Gurze Books, 2001.

 

body-image-statistics_51a8b6cb56b6a_w1500

 

Body Image Problems Influence Our WHOLE Life

Numerous studies have verified that one’s subjective evaluation of their own appearance can have a powerful impact on a person’s development and psychosocial experiences (as cited in Butters & Cash, 1987).

 

 

How Do I Develop A Healthy Body Image?

Recognize that beauty, health and strength come in all sizes. Real beauty encompasses what’s inside, your zest for life, your fun-loving spirit, a smile that lights up your face, your compassion for others, says Carol Johnson, author of Self-Esteem Comes in all Sizes. It’s being friendly, generous and loving, having strength and courage, and respecting yourself just as you are — goals that we all can achieve.

Be size positive. Set an example of respect for size diversity. People naturally come in different sizes and builds, and that’s okay. If you are a large woman it’s especially important in our size-focused society to be a role model who radiates confidence, self-respect and friendliness for other adults and children who, sadly, may fear going out in public. Or, if you are a thin person, keeping thin through semi-starvation, remember this means an anorexic personality (anxiety, irritability, depression, inability to concentrate, social withdrawal, isolation from friends and family, preoccupation with food, loneliness, lack of compassion and generosity, self-centeredness), weak and brittle bones, and other serious health issues. Our society is currently obsessed with thinness, which hurts us all. When will this nation come to its senses, reject size prejudice, accept a wider range of shapes and sizes, and focus on health rather than weight? We each can do our part to bring about this healthful change.

Dress for success. Dress in ways that make you feel good, that make your own statement and, most of all, that fit now. Clean out your closet of clothes that don’t fit; clothes you can wear only during dieting bouts. Give away or store too-small clothing. This makes room for clothes you will enjoy wearing.

Weight is not a measure of self-worth. Why should it be? Your self-worth is your view of yourself as a total person— how you treat others; how you treat yourself; the contributions you make to your family, your friends, your community, and society in general. Your weight is just your weight. Don’t give it any more importance than that.

List your assets, talents, and accomplishments and review that list often. Add to your list daily.

Develop a personal style that announces to the world: "I like me!" How you feel about yourself is reflected in the way you carry yourself, your grooming, your clothes, your smile, the way you speak.

Let go of constant comparison and competition. You don’t need to be or "do" better than anyone else to be a worthwhile person. tp://www.healthyweightnetwork.com/size1.htm

Follow One Passion One Devotion on WordPress.com

Enter your email address to follow this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email.

Worship Wednesday

1000 Things

October 2018
S M T W T F S
« Sep    
 123456
78910111213
14151617181920
21222324252627
28293031  
Advertisements
%d bloggers like this: