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I read this great, aka challenging, post the other day (10 Things Pastors Absolutely HATE to Admit Publicly) and began applying it to my own life in the circles of influence i have.
For myself i have added number #11 to the list
#11 : I worry that i’m not ____________ enough and can’t provide the help you need (fill in the blank: good, qualified, smart, compassionate, wise, cool, relevant)
#11 is my biggest worry, fear, whatever.
There is even a phobic name for it.
#11 is the one i need to punch in the face, shut it up and nullify any limitation it could place on me. i will not live within its boundaries or restrictions.
I shared about it with my mums group yesterday as that was one area i was adding a i’m not blank enough to.
I had being away on holiday and some live stuff had happened for these women and they had posted in our fb group about what was going on. I was away but had snippets of time to check fb and saw what was going on but didn’t have the time or head space to go in depth to reply and help. And frankly, some of it was about things that I have forgotten. Toilet training. Night time waking. Tantrums. 23 sure fire ways to get your toddler to adore broccoli. Things that i don’t have to deal with as a mother of a 12 and 8 year old. They have their own stages and joys. And they like broccoli.
So I was being down on myself that I was maybe not blank enough to be their leader.
That perhaps they needed someone more in touch with their specific relevant life issues and that was parenting savvy and wise.
I had then gone to bed and had had a really “interesting” dream. One of those ones that speak to the heart. I awoke and knew that God had been speaking and that I was the right leader and that though I probably wasn’t going to be the one to advise them on night time waking and toilet training and two year old tantrums I was going to encourage them and get them praying and equip them to become not just mums, but warrior women of God. That the gift I could give was that I “had been there and done that, got the tshirt” and was now passing on HEART strength for whatever battled they faced.
So I bared my heart to these lovely mums yesterday and was humbled and heartened by their outcry that I had even entertained for a second that I was not blank enough to be the leader or even part of the group.
There are times we have to take those voices of insecurity and ignore them. Or more importantly replace them with a truth. The Truth. Remove the lie and speak the truth.
We have to refuse to live with atelphobia and to live in the freedom of God’s acceptance and power.
Rewrite the script you live by and know that God graces and empowers you to serve Him.
How do we rewrite the script?
1. know what God says about you – find specific personal verses in the Bible that God rhemas to you – highlight them, write them down, meditate upon them
2. stop the fear in its tracks… change the way you think but stopping the thoughts before they become a negative downward spiral
3. talk to someone about how you feel. let them give you a new encouraging script and perspective
4. step out and help someone – use the gifts and talents God has given you and watch Him work His wonder THROUGH you. a few positive experiences under your belt is evidence you are blank enough
5. make a list of all the ways you are enough – your talents, your values, your attributes
In myself I am nothing, but with God I am everything.
He qualifies and equips the called.
My job is to say YES to the things He is calling me to do and He will enable me to be a best fit in that moment, for that role.
In Him I am blank enough.
Do you ever struggle with feeling not blank enough? Or is this just me?
our mums group have been watching Mark Gungor’s LAUGH YOUR WAY TO A BETTER MARRIAGE – and its brilliant. it was recommended to me by a counsellor who spoke at our women’s conference this year. and its so bang on. so what our group needed. fantastic resource.
Mark is a pastor, and a counsellor and hilarious. He has a way of pushing the envelope to make you think in a good way. He is very funny and you can so picture yourself, and your marriage, in the context of what he is sharing. He disarms us with humour but also has this thing about him that is so fatherly and pastoral that when he tells you off, you take it. His insight into the differences between men and women is, for lack of a better word, insightful.
Our young adults have also been watching his singles series STINKING THINKING. we watched DATING DO’S AND DON’TS (session #3) and the next session SEX MAKES YOU STUPID. best nights ever. mark is very black and white and uses all the right words and is straight up. love love love it. love that last night two of the youth leaders got their guys group to watch it. gives comprehensive reasons to wait until married to be sexually active (in any shape or form!)
Our Father in heaven,
Hallowed be Your name.
Your kingdom come.
Your will be done
On earth as it is in heaven.
Give us this day our daily bread ~ Matthew 6:9-11
Give us today our daily bread – we need to have our bread fresh every day – just as the israelites had mana, every day, fresh, from heaven.
Perhaps Jesus isnt talking so much about kai on the table but kai for our hearts – soul food – spiritual nourishment.
My flesh and my heart fail; But God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever. Psalm 73:26 ~ Give me today my daily portion / God is my portion
*** kai = food /
**** love love love YOU’RE ALREADY AMAZING by Holley Gerth… the chapter on “what’s your emotional style” so clicked with me… i dont know whether it was a fashion/shopping thing or the fact that as a mums group (and the women from our young adults housegroup) we’ve been going through UNGLUED by lysa terkeurst so i’m more hyper aware of ways to articulate emotionals and emotional transformations… nothing says it better than an extreme makeover!
we all have an emotional style… a one of a kind, complex way of showing our hearts to the world. imagine i pick you and a friend up and take you to your favourite shop. as you walk through the door i say “surprise! i’m sending you on a shopping spree. you both get to pick an outfit. there’s only one rule – it has to reflect you.” while you and your friend might have a lot in common, you’re most likely to get something entirely different. maybe you’re a “jeans a t-shirt” kind of girl while she heads right over to the pumps and pearls. even if you choose something similar you’ll probably pick out a different colour or size. what if i took you to another store, but this time it was filled with emotional expressions instead of clothes? the same thing would probably happen. your friend might feel totally comfortable in bold yellow joy while you feel more at home in the laid back blue of peace. there would be all kinds of reasons why you made your choices, ranging from where you grew up and what you were taught in church, to how your brain is wired. God, the ultimate designer, has custom created an emotional wardrobe for you. and its beautiful. ~ Holley Gerth // You’re Already Amazing page 60
each one of us thinks our normal is THE normal. our way of life, responses, and yes, emotions make sense to us. but ultimately, our reality has to be tested against God’s ways of doing things. ~ Holley Gerth // You’re Already Amazing page 65
it may be just that once made sense no longer works now. its time for a new emotional fitting! you may have responses in your emotional closet you “outgrew” years ago. ~ Holley Gerth // You’re Already Amazing page 67
its one of the great mysteries of womanhood that we all have moments when we stand in our closet, look at our clothes, and still think “i’ve got nothing to wear”. and i’ve got a confession: its bee one of those weeks for me emotionally. when that happens, its time for an emotional style check. ~ Holley Gerth // You’re Already Amazing page 70
Thankfully God’s promises give us something better to wear. ~ Holley Gerth // You’re Already Amazing page 72
what’s one emotional style you’ve learned from your upbringing that you want to keep?
what’s one you’ve outgrown and need to replace with God’s way of doing things instead?
*** our mums group are working through the UNGLUED series by Lysa TerKeurst and wow is it fantastic… challenging, life changing, encouraging…
in week #4 we looked at 5 steps to work through in an unglued moment – in the moment where ALARMED, i RESOLVE (2 Chronicles 20) and i choose to be on God’s side and to do His will His way.
here are the 5 steps to help me remain emotionally more anchored in God…
Between the panic that begins Jehoshaphat’s story and the peace that ends it, the king’s actions provide a compelling framework for bringing our own unglued reactions to a peaceful end:
- Remember who you are (2 Chronicles 20:2-4)
- Redirect your focus to Jesus (2 Chronicles 20:12b-13)
- Recognize God’s job isn’t your job (2 Chronicles 20:14-17)
- Recite praises and thanks to God (2 Chronicles 20:18-22)
- Realize that reactions determine reach (2 Chronicles 20:23-30)
- prepare emotionally
- prepare spiritually
- prepare your perspective
God loves us too much to take us through the short cut. He knows we might see what’s required and go back to where we started. So sometimes He takes us on a detour. Jon Acuff
sometimes God answers with an instant YES.
take for example, on monday, our MM team prayed for a specific distraction related incident before our yesterday session. and God answered, instantly, that morning. without us having to say anything or intervene in the situation. resolved.
sometimes God answers with a NO.
why would God say no?
because He is our loving Father and He knows the big picture and the best way.
sometimes God answers with a WAIT
in the waiting we must wrestle with the disappointment of the moment that God didn’t and doesn’t answer a prayer a specific way and according to our agenda
waiting and managing our disappointment – we might cry out STINK at first – but that first response be just a moment, not a location we camp out at, putting our comfy at home pants on, not determining our life’s perspective or spiritual status – must lead to trust
as the answer unfolds we, with hindsight, can more accurately see the big picture
IN EVERY YES AND IN EVERY NO AND IN EVERY WAIT WE MUST HAVE AN UNDERLYING BELIEF BENEATH IN IT ALL THAT GOD IS GOOD!