When to Say “No” to Good Things

Here are 4 questions to ask yourself to help you decide when to say “yes” and when to say “no” to good things:

1. Am I protecting time with my spouse? Be intentional in setting up a weekly or monthly date night with your spouse. If a volunteer opportunity comes up that interferes with your date night, just say “no.” Plan around this special night so you are able to love your spouse well before loving others well.

2. Am I protecting time with my kids? If you are missing your son’s basketball games or your daughter’s dance practices to pursue other good things, then you are not protecting your time with your kids. Spend time with your kids before you commit to spend time with your clients or colleagues. Also, before you commit endless hours serving in your community, first make sure you spend quantity time with your kids. And when you do serve in your community, do it with your kids.

3. Is this an area that I can use my gifts? Avoid spreading yourself too thin. Give your best to just a few important things, rather than a mediocre effort to too many things. Be strongly committed to the opportunities that allow you to use your gifts well.

4. Do I have margin in my schedule? Just because you have an open slot in your schedule doesn’t mean you have to fill it, even with good opportunities. Be sure to leave some open time for rest, reflection, and unexpected occurrences that will surely arise.






What Will Your New Spouse Be Like?: An Answer – Gary Thomas

Want to know what your current boyfriend or girlfriend will be like as a husband or wife?

The answer to this question could be the most important piece of information to consider before marrying your boyfriend or girlfriend. Or letting your kids marry their boyfriend or girlfriend.

And the best part? The answer to this question can be said in one sentence.


The Question:

What will my significant other be like as a spouse?


The Answer:

“The best predictor of future behavior is past behavior.”

(This is according to my good friend, Dr. Steve Wilke.)

It’s as easy as that. What are they like now?




Instead of Building Your Platform, Build Your Character

Pastor, words like “platform” and “influence” are important.

But if we aren’t careful, in our desire to build our platform and influence, we can end up building our EGO.

As leadership gurus Ken Blanchard and Phil Hodges say, “EGO stands for ‘Edging God Out’.”


Instead of building your platform, focus more on building your character.

According to the Apostle Paul, the qualifications to be an elder-pastor are about character, not gifting.




12 Quiet Rituals of Enormously Successful Humans

May your actions speak louder than your words.  May your life preach louder than your lips.  May your success be your noise in the end.

The result of enormous success is often pretty noisy – lots of people talking, writing and sharing stories about it.  The actual process of achieving enormous success, on the other hand, is far more discreet.  But it’s this process that happens quietly, behind-the-scenes, that makes all the difference in the world.

1.  They have calm, consistent morning routines.

2.  They eliminate all needless busywork

3.  They do what needs to be done, TODAY!

4.  They gradually turn life’s obstacles around.

5.  They learn by stretching themselves to their limits.

6.  They turn to their intuition when making tough decisions.

7.  They mindfully focus on the positive.

8.  They create visual reminders of their long-term goals.

9.  They keep some kind of personal notebook.

10.  They have mentors they observe and consult with.

11.  They welcome honest feedback and criticism.

12. They keep their pride in check.



dear daughters (marry the right guy) – Susie Davis

the ‘Marry Mr. Right’ list:

  • He loves Jesus. More than you. More than his job. More than money. Or anything else.
  • He has a hard time keeping his hands off you. Sexual attraction, chemistry, whatever you want to call it is important. Now and later. If he’s uninterested physically, that’s just weird. Walk away.
  • He has a hard time keeping his hands off you BUT HE DOES. He does not ask for sex ~ or anything that vaguely resembles sex ~ before marriage. (See #1)
  • He will not compromise your reputation because he is lazy or selfish. In other words, he values and works hard to protect your p-u-r-i-t-y. (ie: would not hesitate to pay for two hotel rooms on a trip even if y’all were going to ‘sleep in separate beds’ in the same hotel room.) Yes, that’s so old-fashion but it’s also awesome.